Feminism, Inspiration

Cosmic Sisterhood

Kris Carr posted a great blog update Sorry. No. Thank You… this morning.  She hit the nail on the head. Women can often be afraid of their power. Afraid of their unique identity and afraid of simply being themselves. So often we try to act smaller than who we are or what we feel. We do this by apologizing for pretty much everything. And every time we apologize we lose a little of our power.  She summed it up by saying: When I get clear on the why’s behind my sorry’s, no’s and thank you’s, I get clear on who and what needs to be embraced or released. I make room for more living and less second-guessing, more truth and less explaining, more relief and less regret.

V-Rings by Beth Kaya Design
V-Rings by Beth Kaya Design

She had no idea how timely this article was.

It’s like Saturday’s fully moon was some sort of cosmic sisterhood when  just before midnight we reached our hands together committing ourselves to our own brand of unique and our own form of power, tied together through sisterhood and the artistic wire wrappings of Beth Kaya Designs.

Do you need something a little less cryptic?

Saturday evening I hit the turnpike north and headed to Jersey City to meet up with a few less than 20 amazing women that traveled from all over the East Coast and New England. Simply to get together, to be in the presence of other women.

Women connect on different levels. I connect to these particular women, my Vibe Tribe Ladies, through our intense love of live music, festivals (Gathering of the Vibes, in particular), and the jam band scene. We’re from all over the US and often only catch up in person on lot or the dance floor (usually with a gaggle of other friends and our respective significant others). I am lucky to have shared some pretty great life experiences with these ladies.

When you find women you authentically connect with, surround yourself with their energy as often as possible!  <~~ TWEET IT!

A few years ago, we decided to have a Gathering of the Vaginas. Ladies Only.  No live music. No significant others. No distractions. Just Ladies, dinner and cocktails.  A slumber party for 20-40 somethings. We have since turned it into a semi-annual event.  I hosted one the first year I moved to Jersey. I will never forget the look on Stephen’s face when he walked in around 8pm to deliver another bottle of tequila. We had only been dating for a few months. I think one of my friends was actually wearing an Instead Soft Cup on her head.  Needless to say, he dropped the tequila and ran.

Connecting the dots back to Kris Carr, on Saturday night. The living room was filled with laughter and oddly enough, echos of “I’m Sorry.”  We laughed about it and the conversation evolved and we came to the same conclusion as Kris. We use the words “I’m Sorry” too often.  As women, we need to let go of guilt or the need to be anything less than we actually are.  Say I’m sorry when it is required, but stop apologizing for being who you are.

I am not sorry for my feelings.
I am not sorry for my thought process.
I am not sorry for  the changes I make in my life.
I am not sorry for life evolving and for friendships shifting.
I am definitely NOT sorry for the the woman I have become.

And for that night, we made a decision. Anytime the words “I’m sorry” were uttered without true reason, you had to drink. You would be shocked to learn how many drinks were consumed.

*The picture above is actually a picture taken on Saturday night.
Advocacy, Feminism

Once, Always.

In 1994, I was a sophomore at Emerson College. Emerson was weird, artsy and quirky. There wasn’t a “quad” there was “the wall.” There wasn’t homecoming, there was the Evvy’s. And there were a group of women who wanted to do their own thing.

Traditional Greek Life wasn’t for the women who were to become the founders of the Theta Kappa Chapter of Phi Sigma Sigma. We didn’t fit the traditional sorority mold (or what I thought it was then).  We didn’t dress alike, we weren’t all the same major, we didn’t look alike and we didn’t share the same faiths. We were however, the most ambitious, independent, outspoken group of women perhaps I have ever known.  We started our chapter because we wanted something different. We wanted something our own.

Phi Sigma Sigma badge

I will never forget that day in April 1994, on the third floor of the student union, dressed in white when we built to the walls of the Phi Sigma Sigma pyramid.  When I graduated in 1996, I retired my letters and put my beautiful gold pyramid pin in its original box and tucked it away in a drawer.

10 years later, I was in a dark place. I left San Francisco to move home, broke up with a man I thought I was going to marry, struggled with depression and turned 30. I landed in a place where the only support and friendship I felt I had was my great dane, Cheyenne.  Craving a community of women, I reached out to the Phi Sigma Sigma headquarters, joined a local alumnae group and began volunteering.

It was during that time, not my college years, that I truly began to understand the meaning of being a member of a sorority and the words Once a Phi Sigma Sigma, Always a Phi Sigma Sigma.

In the years that I volunteered for Phi Sigma Sigma, first as the International Standards Board Coordinator and then as a Chapter Key Advisor, I began to apply and live our core values; lifelong learning, inclusiveness and leadership through service.  By becoming an active volunteer, I learned to thrive again. My confidence was renewed and began to aim high.

Today marks 99 years of sisterhood in Phi Sigma Sigma. When I read the email from our Grand Archon this morning, and she wrote: “10 young women decided the friendship they shared transcended the opportunity to join existing sororities” it made me smile and think of Emerson.  While nearly all of my Theta Kappa sisters packed away their letters after graduation, just as I did, whether or not they realize it, each of them lives by the Creed of Phi Sigma Sigma.

Each of them are women of substance, character and influence. However many years have passed and miles there are between us, I am happy to have shared the experience with them. We chose Phis Sigma Sigma and Phi Sigma Sigma chose us for a reason.  As for me, it’s time to volunteer again. I can’t think of a better way to continue to improve myself, than to surround myself with women who are the strongest, most passionate leaders I know and  continue in every facet of their life to aim high.

Happy Founders Day.

Diokete Hupsala!