Sometimes. Ok that’s a lie MOST times I do too much. 100 different things and people on my to do list. I know I AM a super woman, but I don’t have to BE a super woman 24-7. It’s important to slow down and just fucking breathe.
Sometimes I feel bogged down. Juggling too many balls. Life gets in the way. I get in my own way. It’s hard. Running a business is hard. Having a job is hard. being a wife is hard. Life can be hard. You know what makes it easier, I mean, besides a personal assistant? Gratitude. And when you truly begin to practice gratitude life begins to unfold and blossom in amazing ways. You become the a powerful maker of your own destiny and a manifesting master.
For a long time, I was ungrateful resentful of my legal education. I felt only as if it were a ball and chain of debt, holding me back from what I really wanted to do. It took me a long time to let go of the resentment and just deal with it. Once the resentment was gone, I slowly became grateful. Grateful that I had the skills to assist my clients with filing LLCs, negotiating contracts, understanding liability. Now that I am grateful for my legal background, that aspect of my business is flourishing. I am continuing to help yoga teachers and studios in new, creative ways. It’s all part of the master design, but it didn’t fall together until I started practicing gratitude.
This post rides on the coat tails of my goal setting series, when really it should have come first. You can’t achieve anything without dreaming of it first. Yous MUST dare to dream. Dreaming is where it all begins. The idea, the dream, the what if? The problem with adults is that we forget to dare to dream. We simply get caught up on doing. We NEED big fat juicy dreams.
What are your big fat juicy dreams? I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours. Tell me in the comments below or head over to Facebook.
Yup, the hiatus is over. It’s time for In Yo Face Friday.
Today I want to talk about owning it. Owning who you are and what you do with every ounce of your being. Stop shying away from your perceived flaws. For a long time, the yogini in me was ashamed of the lawyer in me. I couldn’t reconcile the two aspects of my personality. The type-a, analytical, demanding side of me always seemed to be at conflict with the gentle, soft, energy healer in me. Before my yoga training, the legal side hardened me. I felt as if my compassion and empathy were weaknesses. The opposite was true after my yoga training. For some reason yoga quieted my voice. I didn’t fit perfectly into the yoga teacher box, so my personality shrank. Only recently have I come to realize these juxtapositions are exactly my gifts to the world.
Never quiet your voice. Own it.
You guys want to help me with the tumble weeds around here? It’s the end of February and it has been almost two months since my last post. I broke the cardinal rule of blogging- you actually have to blog. Now let me take some time to provide you with the excuses.
4. Excuses suck.
Here’s what really happened….the holidays came and priorities were inadvertently shuffled. Food. Family. Stress. Then I got frustrated over not having time for myself, my husband and my business on top of the 9-5 schlep and my volunteer work. So I broke cardinal rule #2 – working in my business instead of working on my business. I decided everything needed to be done all at once and I was the best person to do it. Shit with my web designer hit the fan (see how the website isn’t launched yet?) and I started moving horizontally instead of vertically.
When overwhelm hits and you’re already frustrated everything comes to a grinding halt. Why? Because all of a sudden your brain is torn between the ‘woulda, coulda shoulda’ land of the past and the ‘what if’ land of the future. The moment you enter the scary dark corners of the past and /or the future the most important thing disappears. The present.
The most important thing you can do in life; for your self, your business, your practice your friends, your family, your community, for everyone you encounter is STAY PRESENT.
My inaction over the past month and a half was a sweet reminder of how important the present is. Time to get back on the wagon, ya heard?
4 Surefire Ways to Fail at Reaching Your Goals
Napoleon Hill said, ‘A goal is a dream with a deadline.’ Are you great at dreaming but not so good at attaining your goals? I could dream up business ideas and strategy for days. I literally have 100s of URLs and journals filled with the next amazing thing. It took me a long time to figure out how to tap into that talent and transfer it into a service. Once I did, the Darshana Collective was born, the company is flourishing and I am finally getting paid for something I am naturally good at – creative, organizational, business strategy for yoginis. I failed a bunch of times before I got it right. The reason I got it right this time? I set strategic goals. Once I got strategic about it, the walls came down and everything fell into place.
If you’re stuck dreaming, and not doing, something is holding you back. Here are four of the most common reasons why people fail to reach their goals.
1. The Reason Gets Away from You
It takes a long time to reach your goals. During that time, it’s easy to stray from the real reason why you ever wanted to achieve it in the first place. In fact, you may very well forget it entirely.
How do you keep from doing this? A great way is to write this reason down. Ask yourself why you want to make this change and answer it as honestly as possible. Take that piece of paper and keep it with you constantly. Tuck it in your wallet. Look at it every time you have to bust out your ATM card to pay for something. Reminders are key!!
You may also find your motivation to reach the goal waning, especially when you encounter challenges along the way. Keeping a written statement of why you want to achieve your goal keeps that initial excitement with you to push you forward.
2. Too Much on Your Plate
The expression ‘Jack of all trades, master of none’ applies to goal planning as well as many other things in life. If you try to take on too many things at once, you’ll be spending your energy all over the place. You won’t have the focus that you need to reach even one, and you’ll most likely burn out quickly. Be laser focused in your passion.
But what can you do if you’re an ambitious person with lots on your plate? The solution is to make a huge list of goals and just pick one. Work on one until you get comfortable with it and start seeing results. Then, you can add the next goal to your already busy schedule.
3. Choking on Negativity
Often, we fall short of what we want because we focus too much on negatives. You think about what you don’t want or where you don’t want to be, instead of visualizing yourself in a good place in the future. If you’re not sure visualization is powerful, check out my friend Lana Shlafer. She’s a master at manifestation and visualization techniques. I am not one for pudding, but the proof is there.
If your goal is to get more private clients, stop thinking about the ones you don’t have right now. Sure, it may be a good motivator to get you job hunting; but the negative thinking it’s causing you can stand in your way. Instead, focus on the wonderful new job you’re going to get.
4. Kill the Fear
Many of us fail to make progress on our goals because of fear, which is perfectly natural. If you’ve got a big goal you’re working toward, there’s a good chance it’s something you’ve never done before, and that can be terrifying.
When you’re afraid, it’s usually because you doubt your abilities. But with proper planning, this isn’t an issue at all. If you break your goals down into sub-goals and daily actions that will get you closer to them, it just becomes a matter of logistics. A good plan with concrete steps helps you overcome fear.
5. Take Action Today
Ultimately the main reason we fail at goals is that we fail to take action. This could be because of the fear mentioned above or for other reasons, but it’s essential to do something each day that gets you closer to your goals. This helps you understand your own abilities and skills better, and it gives you more confidence when you see yourself getting closer to getting what you want.
Need to play a little catch up?
Creating Time Frames + Being flexible in Goal Setting
Dream + Hustle
Keep it Real: Goal Planning and Taking Action
Learning to Love Metrics
The Dirty Details.
Lets Go, Smarty Pants.
Ready Set Goal!
Resolutions Suck, Goal Setting is Awesome!
Sometimes it’s really scary going inside. There’s cobwebs, old memories and pain buried deep within us. Everything you need, your power, your spirit your inspiration, your intuition. It’s all inside you. You just have to dig deep. If you have a pile of shit to dig through, grab a shovel. If you need help, reach for it…but go there. You’re a warrior. Fight + release the demons. Go inside. Go deep.
you had the power all along, my dear.
To tha Tick Tock You Don’t Stop.
Yes, that was a Color Me Bad reference. Stop hating.
Two weeks ago we talked about S.M.A.R.T goal planning; Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented (or Achievable), Realistic, and Timely. The last is probably the most important. Your goals need a time frame because without one, you can easily spin your wheels and never reach them. A time frame adds a sense of urgency to your goals and that’s just what they need.
How to Set Deadlines
Creating a time frame is based on setting deadlines. Deadlines can be scary for bliss chasing- zen-types, but I promise they will help you reach your career + abundance goals. Just like a deadline for work or school, this is the day when you’ll reach that goal. The first step in creating deadlines is to define the overall timeframe. Will this goal take a few years, months, weeks, or days to reach? Choose a day in the future that you think is realistic and don’t worry, you can go back and change it later. We’re yoginis, we got that flexibility shit down, right?
Once you’ve got your deadline, break your goal into small action steps that will get you closer to it. These should all be tasks that can be finished and clearly defined. In other words, you know exactly when they’re done. You’ll take these sub-goals and affix deadlines to them as well. These deadlines will gradually get you to your big one. I know I am repeating myself, but mastery in goal setting takes practice aka repetition!
Example – Grow Your Facebook Following
For example, your goal might be to grow your Facebook following. You’d first decide exactly what ‘grow your following means’ means – more fans, more shares, more fan contribution/engagement, etc. Quantify that shit! To do this, take your overall goal and break it into these smaller and more specific sub-goals.
You might choose to make one change per month, a la scheduling posts and engaging with other pages. By the end of the month, your Facebook posts should be consistent. By the next month, you’ll be consistently engaging with other Fanpages and recruiting them to like yours. You’ve now got an action plan and a solid time frame for it.
How to Make Your Deadlines More Efficient
There are several ways to make your deadlines more efficient. First of all, the key to success is to be realistic. Look at each of your sub-goals and ask yourself if you can really reach it in that time? How do you know if it’s realistic? At first, you don’t. But a safe way of guessing is to pad all of your deadlines. Give each an extra day in case things don’t work out as planned (and they rarely ever do).
You can also monitor along the way. Check your progress periodically and see if you’re still on target for reaching that goal. For example, if your goal is to boost your Fanpage, you should have a set amount and a deadline. Every week, check your count to see if it’s going up the way it should be. If it’s not, regroup, figure out why and trying pushing your deadline back accordingly.
Hey Yogini, Keep it Bendy! Stay Flexible
AKA, keep it flexible. Do you see a common theme here? Those that don’t bend, break. Deadlines help you get things done and your time frame gives it all a sense of urgency. But you don’t want to put yourself in a perpetual state of panic. Flexibility means that you’re willing to change course and adjust if needed, but not stray from your overall dream. Life happens sometimes, so let it; but don’t let it stop you from reaching your goals.
Need to play a little catch up?
It’s In Yo Face Friday, kiddos!
I’m going to make a simple suggestion that’s not always easy to implement…
Fuck Fitting In.
Don’t stuff yourself into a box of what you think you need to be. Inevitably you’ll get claustrophobic and resentful and no one likes a stuffy up-tight bitch. Your job on this planet is to rock the world, make a difference and FIT OUT. Do more of what makes you AWESOME.
Fitting OUT is uncomfortable. That discomfort is the catalyst for growth, emotionally and spiritually. Be you. Be awesome.
I believe that one defines oneself by reinvention. To not be like your parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself. To cut yourself out of stone.
– Henry Rollins