In Yo Face Friday

It’s Friday!  Time to get in yo face!

Today I want to talk about rules. More importantly, breaking them.

Break the Rules

Now before you start running around  all willy-nilly  breaking rules for your own convenience, that’s not what I’m talking about. Red lights are there for a reason and if you cut to the font of the Starbucks line, I can’t promise someone won’t punch you in the throat! The rules I am talking about are the ones that we have imposed on ourselves and the ones that have been unintentionally imposed on us. Living by these rules imprison us when in actuality we were designed to dance and shine in abundance and success.


  • I’m an artist, I can’t run a business.
  • I can’t wear that dress, my thighs are too fat.
  • My relationships never work out. I am destined to be alone.
  • I can’t be a yoga teacher, I’m overweight and I can’t even touch my toes.

When you read those rules out loud they seem pretty ridiculous, right? That’s because they are. They’re big, fat, stupid rules.  But being ridiculous never stopped anyone from anything. And our rules can be broken.  If you start breaking the rules that imprison you , you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish and the happiness that will pour into your life.

Breaking these rules isn’t easy. It takes a revolution within ourselves. If our evolution happened over night, it wouldn’t be evolution. It would be…crap, I don’t know, something that happens over night without any effort, like leaves turning red in the fall.

You need to break the rules in your life to thrive.  <~~~ Tweet that.

The first step is figuring out what the hell they are. What rules are do you live by that are holding you back? How can you deprogram yourself? Once you have them identified, then work on reprogramming your rules.

I have been trying to figure this out myself for a while now. I’m going out on a limb now, trying to break a few of my own self imposed rules.  I’m getting personal. Something I very rarely do. Here are a few rules I am trying to crush.

I have too much educational debt to be self employed.  – fuck that shit. I’ve done it before and I will do it again. It just takes creativity, ambition and hustle. My new rule?  I have what it takes to be successful and the woman [Sallie Mae] can’t keep me down. 

Asking for help will make me seem weak. Seriously. I’m not sure exactly how this one got there but it has infected almost every aspect of my life. Maybe it’s genetic. I come from a very long line of disturbingly independent women (on both sides of my family). I struggled for months trying to build and tweak my website when I finally acknowledged that I needed help (thank you Courtney!) time and abundance began flowing in other directions.  My new rule: It’s good to ask for help when you need it. 

If I share my emotions people will think I am weak and/or crazy. This one is hard. Really, really hard for me.  I am pretty sure it’s tied to the asking for help rule, which is rooted in my Adirondack upbringing- fierce independence.  And that long line of fiercely independent women, well, they’re notorious for not letting a soul inside. I’ve been working on reprogramming myself to believe that the complexity of my emotions make me unique. The good, the bad and the ugly are all a part of who I am. They are what draws people to me and what keeps us connected. If I don’t let them out and share them my connections to those other souls will merely be superficial. My new rule: My emotions are powerful, sharing them will nurture the relationships I have.

So, those are some of the rules that have been holding me back in my personal, business and spiritual evolution.  What are the rules that hold you back? How are you going to break them? Who will hold you accountable? Break the fucking rules. The dialog in your brain has to change. Rewire your thinking so you can go out there, kick ass, be happy and change the world.

6 responses to “In Yo Face Friday”

  1. Great post, love how personal and real and relate-able these rules are, we all have them. I wanted to comment on the ‘fiercely independent woman’ rule. I get it, cause I’ve got that one too. But I’ve learned a distinction that has helped me, inter-dependence is not dependence or independence, it’s sort of a spiral above both, and it’s what all of us are about (because no man or woman is an island, we all need help).

    1. Inter-dependence! So simple, but so profound. Thank you Wendy!! 🙂

  2. Necessary blog read. Even though its “In yo face, Saturday morning w/ coffee” which honestly is a good time to get to my core.
    Rules and Marriage:
    Marriage is a funny line to walk for me, with the “Tatum, if I’ve taught you anything its to have a car you can put your whole life into, if you need to escape” or “you are a strong independent woman, I have raised you to not NEED a man for help. You can change your oil, a tire, fix the toilet, trouble shoot the water heater, and re hang a cabinet if necessary”
    I like having my husband’s help, though I fight it on the regular, its nice that someone is on my team to take the load off. But that little Italian woman’s voice in my head is there, and part of me needs her for the balance.

    1. I fight those same rules too. Damn fiercely independent women that raised us.

  3. It’s been a battle for me to break these rules. I’ve always been the ‘strong one who has it all together’ (to the outside world and my family), I never wanted to ask for help…ME DO toddler mentality. But if you don’t ask for help you rarely get it!
    The one ‘rule’ I’ve been battling with lately is, ‘You must use your college degree in your career’ Since I was a little girl I always wanted to be a teacher, I love teaching, love kids, love molding young minds into excited learners…but teaching in NJ is the SUCK! I’ve never been one to follow the ‘fit the mold rule’ when it comes to teaching. I am unique and ADVOCATE for my students. Which has landed up pink slipped from two schools (both blessings). But here I am struggling with the thought of going back to school to find a new career and/or just teaching because it’s what ‘I’m supposed to do’

    1. Damn the pressure of the college degree. I hear that loud and clear with my license to practice law!! You just gotta start operating outside of the box. There are 100s of ways to teach with out being a “Grade X” teacher. Keep digging. Keep investigating. Keep breaking that stupid fucking “you have to use your college degree rule” and eventually the perfect fit will slip on! 😀

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