A few weeks ago I read a blog post that resonated, the Art of the Deleting People. Synchronicity in play, I read it at a time when I was feeling the need to hide posts and block users. I block on the regular. I block bigotry. I block negativity. I block whining. Block & Hide…it’s the shadow boxing of the Facebook generation.
Earlier this week a good friend posted a FB update: “I’m going to turn my life around after seeing an inspirational picture on Facebook – Said no one, ever.” It totally irked me and I hid the post in lieu of commenting and getting into a irrational FB discussion. I think it bothered me so much because I do believe that people will move to change their situation when they are surrounded by positivity and encouragement. That sort of cynicism and misanthropy gets under my skin and makes me aggressive. Negativity begets negativity. no?
I’ve never actually deleted any of my Facebook acquaintances. There’s a certain level of guilt associated with it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want to cause drama. I’ve been deleted before and it has always left me with that WTF feeling. I remember when my former PR agent deleted me after a big fight resulting in us not renewing our contract. I was stunned. It pissed me off, but mostly I thought it was just so very 8th grade. A 30something year old woman acting like a teenager. Now I almost understand it. She deleted to move on. (Well, probably not, since she didn’t delete my business partner who had equal share in our decision to not renew- but I choose to take the optimist view).
In the past, I used Facebook to build my list: promote my yoga classes, promote my health coaching business and doula practice and to promote LBG. It was all about social marketing for gain; more people in my classes, more clients signed on, more tee shirts sold. Now that I’m not slinging tee shirts, teaching yoga, or coaching health, life and birth I find myself getting more and more frustrated with my feed. It’s filled with I’m-not-pitching-but-I-am-really-pitching-you-a-sales-pitch posts, women fawning over the same successful 6-figure business women, “friends” I don’t even recognize and friends that are no longer an active part of my life. My online living room is in shambles and doesn’t reflect where I am in the present moment. It doesn’t fit and the stupid sales fliers are piling up in the corners, blocking the view of things that currently matter.
So I decided to clean up shop.
I didn’t hide or block. I deleted. I let go, and moved on. My life is in a different place now. People can always find me here and on Twitter. If there are people that are truly upset with being deleted, then reach out and actually connect with me. You have my phone number, you have my email address. Use it. If you can’t send a message or pick up a phone there’s no merit to being upset that I removed you from my facebook friends list. To the 450 business connections that I just let go, we’ll reconnect in another time and space when it’s right.
I feel lighter.