Getting a Running Start

When we feel stuck, going nowhere–even starting to slip backward–we may actually be backing up to get a running start. ~ Dan Millman

Lately I’ve been feeling a little flat with my teaching. Ok, not lately, for like the past 6 months. It’s almost as if I’m tired of hearing my own voice saying a different version of the same thing. Somehow, somewhere, I lost the exuberance I had for teaching weekly asana classes. As a teacher, this is a hard reality to face, but I am facing it and coming clean, right here, right now.

I guess it all starts with the 30 Day Hot Yoga Challenge that Nancy and I did. I never wrote a follow up blog post to my Day 22 entry. The emotions that were coming up were raw, surprising and hard to understand. I wanted to ignore them and as per usual, I was too insecure to put it out there. I have done a lot of thinking and meditating on what came up and without getting into the juicy, emotional details, the long and the short of it is I realized there was something missing in my practice.

I started to reflect on where I am in my practice, where I have been and where I came from. For me, yoga started as a journey to something else. I knew I needed more meaning in my life and a change in my life path and my vehicle for change was yoga and Reiki. I began to live consciously. I practiced more, I meditated more, I was guided by my inner light. I was tapped into my ability to transform, my ability to heal and my ability to help others heal. I was on the right path. I was moving forward, I was progressing emotionally and spiritually. My practice, personal and teaching, was steeped in spirituality. Yoga on and off the mat was never separate. I lived my yoga and yoga wasn’t simply a $20 drop in class. It was my spirituality, it was my connection to the light. And then somehow, I got stuck in Jersey.

And I do mean metaphorically stuck, I love Jersey. I met my husband here and the friendships that have flourished here are invaluable. But spiritually, I feel stuck. For some reason my yoga practice in Jersey is very different than it was/is in Boston. It has turned into a purely physical practice. One that I’m not connected to, I don’t feel inspired by and its a struggle to get to a class. I’m missing the spiritual connection that I found to be so prevalent in my South Shore Yoga Community.

Instead of simply staying stuck, ignoring it and just going through the motions, or packing my bags and running, like I have done in the past, I’ve decided to be proactive. I am consciously creating change in my life to get unstuck, and this is my action plan:

• Take time to reflect. I’ve cut way back on my teaching schedule. If I am not feeling my weekly asana classes, I shouldn’t be teaching them. It’s not right for me to teach when my cup is empty. It’s a disservice to my students and a disservice to myself.
• Surround yourself with meaningful relationships and reconnect, create community. While I’ve stopped teaching weekly asana classes, Nancy and I continue to hold workshops at the LBG Showroom. Currently we’re running a yoga development series called Be Your Own Guru. Weekly asana classes are so different from yogic philosophy/learning classes. Running this workshop is exactly what I need. It has turned into a fiercely strong community of women. Women that are open to change, open to growth, open to empowerment and open to peace. It has turned into a weekly sadhana that I have been missing.
• Be curious and learn, Dig back in. Taking a physical asana class is not enough for me. I’m digging back into reading, learning, applying yoga philosophy and spirituality. More importantly, I am seeking out teachers that I connect with. I’m also digging back into my Reiki practice. It seems silly to be a trained reiki master and do nothing with it. I am starting by joining a weekly reiki healing circle.
• Connect with nature. I’m an Adirondack Mountain girl, mountains and nature are in my blood, and they’re hard to come by in Jersey. it’s not that there aren’t places to access where you can be in nature, there are, it’s just not at every corner. I’m doing my best to get out onto the trails at least 3 times a day. It’s already energizing me.

In the past, each time I have felt “stuck” I ended up packing my bags and physically seeking change and challenges in a different geographic area. I know now that I was simply running away from something. Now that I’m married, I can’t just pack my bags and run like I used to. I have a commitment not only to my husband, but to the local community that LBG is building here. If I’m not satisfied with the way things are in Jersey, it’s up to me to change them, right? This winter is my running start.

How do you create change in your life?